Who is in your head?

Have you ever felt like someone or something is determining your response, more than you are?

You feel out of control, and the thoughts seem stronger than you can control?

Our thoughts are like that.

They feel stronger than we are, which gives us the perception that they are true.  We can so easily then respond to them as if they are true.

Reality?  They are far from the truth.

We have the choice to change them.  Just imagine what that would feel like.  Can you feel it?

You see, that means we have the control, not our thoughts.  Unless, of course, we give them the control.  Which again, puts us in control (insert happy face emoji here).

Think about this … ever tried to purge a storage room?  You know, that room you rarely go into, so you don’t often see what is collecting in there …

I am a proud Mom and Grandma.  An empty nester who has all the precious school work of her kids still collected and kept safe in many bins.  I have kept them, because I am never sure what I am ok with getting rid of.  What if I change my mind, and want to look at their Grade 2 handwriting some day? My son may want to look at his penmanship entry into our Fall fair that won first prize.  O wait, you don’t think he will?  Funny, that’s what he says, yet I still have it.

I am sure you see this clearly as hanging on too tight, but in my head it can be a different story.

That is what it looks like to hang onto stories or voices in our head that no longer help us move forward … in fact most of them are literally holding us back.

Like when we don’t do something, in case “they” find out.

Or, when you do something because you think they are watching and expect you to.

Let’s talk about dreams …  do you hold back from stepping into your dreams because someone else has an opinion on them?

Did someone tell you one day a long time ago you wouldn’t be able to? or that you shouldn’t?

Maybe you feel expectations to go in a certain direction to make someone happy.

As a teenager I was constantly trying to gain weight – crazy, right?  As a 56 year old that has had two children and find it so difficult to even lose one pound, I now ask, “what was I thinking?”.  Perspective.

The voices of the people who thought I had an eating disorder or that I would have trouble in childbirth were in my head.

I listened to their voices and developed some unhealthy eating habits trying to gain weight, so they would stop saying something. (For the record, I had my first child with no pain meds and in under 2 hours … I only wish I could go back and tell those people!)

So who’s in your head?

What did they say to you that you can’t forget and carry with you?

Who is determining your choices, decisions, and actions?  Your values and passions, or the voices you’ve been listening to?

Here’s some steps to help you silence the voices in your head:

The first step in shifting the language is to identify the voices.  You have most likely been listening to them for awhile, so it will take time to quiet them.  Baby steps make huge strides.

Once you know what and who the voices are, you can begin to change them.  To shift them into truth and then walk forward in that.  If it’s your dream, then no one has a right to say if you can, or you can’t, no matter how long ago they said it.  I have heard the quote from numerous people, “what anyone else thinks of you is none of your business”.  That means that what they think doesn’t matter.  Have a few trusted friends that know you well and support you authentically, and let the voices of the rest go.

Keep at it, it takes time.  Think of how long the voices have been in your head, so it will take time to shift them.  The more awareness you have of what language you are listening to (victim or leading language) and if the stories are limiting or supporting, the more clarity you have to change it.  One voice at a time.

Take those three steps and stay as consistent as you can.  I promise you, you will look back in a few years, even months, and possibly days, and ask, “why was I allowing them in my head?”

Pretty soon you’ll realize you have your voice in your head and are living in alignment with who God made you to be!  Your baby steps will make all the difference in the world around you!