It’s been a tough week and a half.

A surprising and jolting week and a half.

We knew it was coming but didn’t think it would come so soon.

I am sure you have felt like that if you have lost anyone close to you, for whatever reason.

My Dad has been living with Alzheimer’s for a little over 8 years now, and living in long term care for the past 9 months and a bit.  So not a surprise, but still a surprise.

He suffered a stroke that led to both brain and heart damage, and put him into end of life care.

Ever since, my thinking has been in overload.

As we had the opportunity to be with him those last six days, and watching how differently we grieve, it got me to wondering how to say good-bye.

In his 82nd year, my Dad lived a life that left profound legacy, influence, and impact on those around him.

Just the week before his stroke we had celebrated his birthday as a family and watched him laugh, felt his hugs, and saw glimpses that made us say, “there he is!”.

How do you say good-bye in a few moments when a life has touched yours so deeply?

The first thing I found myself doing is thinking about how my life has been impacted by his presence and his love. 

Do you have someone special in your life that has had a big part in who you are today?

Could you express how they have impacted you? And who you have become?

I watched as different family members visited and noticed how each one had unique things they wanted to say to Dad, and it got me thinking about good-byes.

Some wanted time alone to talk about memories and say I love you.

Some wanted to sit quietly and hold his hand.

Some sang.

Some told stories.

Some recounted what they loved about him.

Some just wanted to be there.

Some didn’t want to be there.

Some wanted to say specific things he had done that had meant a lot to them.

Each one was different.

I wondered about those who hadn’t been able to be present, but had desperately wanted to.

My life coaching brain and desire to live with intention and purpose was thinking and thinking.

I couldn’t help but come back to how each one said good-bye in how they lived before the last days.

We love by how we live.

I realized that I want to live in such a way that if I cannot be there, how I loved and what I said was enough.

I am different today than I was 10 days ago.

We don’t always have the chance to say the words when we want to

What if you don’t have the face to face time to say good-bye?  Would how you have lived and loved tell the story you want to tell, and say the words you would want to say?

Are you leaning in, or waiting for the best time?

Let’s lean in now.

Let’s live today in a way that says what we want to say.

Let’s say the words every day and not wait.

Let’s be so clear on what is most important to us that there is no questions on the actions to live it forward.