But I really should …

How often have you either said, “I should …”, or maybe even just thought it?

My hand’s up, what about yours?

I am guessing it is.  

The way we use the thought of “I should” keeps us held back, and using language with ourselves that keeps us tied up, trying to please everyone else.

It feels like a weight that directs us to living through someone else’s eyes or expectations, instead of showing up and leaning in to the best version of us.

I should be able to do that like she does.

I should go help because they expect me to.

I should be better at this by now.

I should be nicer, and then they’ll be happier.

I should not laugh so loud. (ok, that’s a personal one for me!)

I should do more.

I should be more.

Sound familiar?  (I am pretty sure they do.)

 Or how about putting the “shoulds” on someone else’s shoulders?  Expecting more from someone and becoming angry or resentful when they don’t follow through.

But where do your expectations of what you “should” do come from?  Past expectations, or a desire to please maybe?

Are they fitting in with, or aligning with who you want to be?

Are you saying yes to so many things that you don’t have the time to say yes to what is truly important to you?  Now that will bring on some overwhelm and disappointment real fast!

To get rid of the “shoulds” you need to get super clear on what is most important to you.  To identify your top core values and unique purpose. 

To gain the clarity of where your negative stories of expectations come from.

After you gain your clarity you will begin to find the confidence to not only plan for, but also respond to the things and people you have determined deserve your best time.

You’ll align your time choices with your core values.

You’ll know where to say yes, and where to say, “I’m sorry I can’t do that this time.”

Have you ever had a “yes” day?  Where you say yes to everything?  I honestly don’t think that is our problem most of the time.  What we need is a “no” day!  

A day to focus in on practicing aligning your time with what you say is most important to you.

The beautiful thing is that you will find you have time to do what matters most to you, even if that means spontaneously loving on someone that needs it.

You’ll have the time, because you have the focus and clarity.

You’ve made the time because you’ve identified where to spend your time.

Give yourself the permission to say no, so you can say yes to what really matters.

Get super clear, then move forward with confidence!