Wonder how the women you see on social media always have everything together and can accomplish it all, while looking perfectly put together?

Or do even your friends seem to be able to do it all?

How about those closest to you? 

Do you feel pressure from them to be a certain somebody?

You may be saying … “I am doing my best but feel like it’s not enough!”

Let me introduce you to the phrase, “What someone else thinks of you is none of your business?”

I heard it a few years ago, and it just keeps coming back to mind as I work on showing up as my best.

You see, as long as I am focused on what others think of me, or feel pressured to be anyone else than who I was made to be, I am not focused on my best.

I get it, it is so easy to listen to the stories we tell …

She looks like she has it all together.  Her hair is always great, her makeup looks fantastic, her house is clean, and she is rocking it at being both a Mom and an entrepreneur.

Oh, wait … she also serves on a not-for-profit board for an organization that builds schools in Africa.

Maybe that isn’t your story. 

Maybe you struggle more with trying to keep up with what others think you should do.

You don’t discipline your kids right.

You are working in the wrong job.

You don’t keep your house clean enough, or have the right decorating, or host fancy enough.

You should have your kids involved in this, or that, in more, or less.

And if that is true, than you probably married the wrong person too, or have the wrong friends.

Or maybe you are even trying to be someone you admire … I mean you admire her, right?  So why shouldn’t you try to emulate her?

Truth … none of  that is your business.

It is none of our business because it is more about the other person that it is about us.

When we really get ahold of that we can start living who we were created to be.  Living our unique purpose, values, and passions.

To stop holding ourselves back because of a perception of someone else that we are trying to live up to.

Where we get off track is when we listen to what we hear, and believe what we see, then feel the pressure to imitate that.  That’s where the inauthenticity of imitation happens.

Here’s the thing … just because they say it doesn’t make it true, and just because they do it, doesn’t mean you should.

The reason our thoughts are so important is because they shape how we live. 

We respond to what we believe.

But what someone else says, or does, or appears to be, is only about them. Not us. Not you. Not me.

We read so much into why someone says or does something to us, and really it probably had, and has, nothing to do with us.

I see this in teens and young Moms as they struggle to find their place and discover who they are.  

But honestly, I hear about it and see it just as much in empty nesters and women looking at their next steps in their careers, even towards retirement.  I hear it just as often in women in their senior years.  

My life coaching heart wants to empower and equip you to stop it.  

Stop the comparison.

Stop the belief in other’s opinions.

Stop listening to those who really don’t have the place to speak into our lives.

Stop thinking you need to be anyone else, or do what anyone else does.

It is up to us to stop listening and transferring other’s words into our lives.

We get to own it!

Here are some helpful tips that can help you own it:

• If you find yourself comparing yourself or feeling inadequate following someone on social media or hanging out with them … stop following them or being with them.
• If you walk away from someone feeling deflated or not enough, stop and think about where that came from.  Did they intend to make you feel that way or is that just your reaction and response?  If it was intentional, set up a healthy boundary on how often you interact and why.  If it is just you, reframe what they said and change your belief.  A good framework to use is that you never know what they have just walked away from.  If you knew they had just come from a very difficult time, would that change your belief about what they said?
• Be clear on who you were made to be and your own unique purpose and core values.  Your clarity will bring confidence to filter the noise.
• Remember that you easily think like those you spend the most time with … so choose wisely. 

You’ve got this!  Know who you are and live it confidently.